Dirty Little Secret...

okay, so i have all these secret little fantasies about life experiences that i want to have. one of them was to work in an office. i'm not a super organized person but i do enjoy lists and doing things in order, so, i guess i have the potential to be a "neat freak" but i don't like those kind of labels though they do have a nice ring to them don't they??
anyways, another little fantasy is to be a waitress. i don't know why i think it would be so interesting but growing up in a big city i wanted to experience a small diner and have "regulars" and know exactly what they want every time they came in. maybe i've watched too many movies like "it could happen to you". but i think it could be really cool.

so what's your little fantasy?

My Grievances

okay so i'm back at school like i wanted but as usual things are not going as planned.
this is something that i am trying so desperately to work on. i plan everything out to the t and then things never go the way i plan. NEVER! but i continue to plan. i've had a few years with the use of reason but i still can't handle the fact that i've got to let things flow. the thing is that life always works out a thousand times better than anything that i could ever plan, all the more reason for me to stop planning things out so much.
i need help.
that's all for now.
sam

I'm So Excited

so i arrived yesterday morning in columbus. today we went to kirtland. it was an interesting experience to visit a place where so many others have been and lived and examine their work and customs and contributions to history.
on the 3hrs drive back "home" i was thinking about where i was and what i had the opportunity to do yesterday, today, and tomorrow. as usual i was surprised that i was doing something that wasn't really in my plans for a long time but was something that i really wanted to do. i feel somewhat fulfilled and pleased with myself for taking a small chance and doing something that i wanted for myself. it's nothing big but it's pleasing and i just wanted to share my small joy and step into the dredded adulthood, because, i just want to take it slow, i don't want to reach adulthood and be shocked by it and have to change all at once. i want to do it slow and steady.