i sit here wondering "what the heck is wrong with me?" i had a sort of argument with my mother and older brother about my realtionship with said brother. it has NEVER been a good one. he thinks about himself before anyone and everyone else. and he says that it is human nature. that this world is about surviaval of the fitist and it is most important that he survive before anyone else. but my young mind asks what are we fighting each other to survive? what is it that my brother who does nothing all day is trying to survive?
the other thing that bothered me about our argument was that my brother called me rude and judgemental. which are two of the things about my personality that i really don't like. they are some of the worse things about myself but they surface when i put my guard up(which automatically happens in ny). i guess it just stings when one of the people i judge the most calls me out on it.
i'm working on my flaws but there are too many to work on at once and it doesnt help to have them tossed in my face. more than once.
so there. i'm judgemental and rude. all the time. its not okay but i'll work on it. i promise myself i would.
9 years ago
3 comments:
Family. ugh. know right where to get you all the time. Hang in there...it'll take some time to get things the way you want them...and then when you do...there is always more you realize you want to do differently. I still love you!!! ps, i didnt even get to finish watching the notebook..i fell asleep~
I'm glad that you want to improve yourself. I think that is a very noble character trait. One that is more godly than natural. Beth is right, as we strive to become more and better we will always have something else that we will want to change. But if we rise to that challenge we may become more than we ever thought possible. Also there is much joy in the journey.
One more thing: I don't think that it is necessary for people to have a "survival of the fittest" mentality. We have been taught over and over again in the church how important service is. I believe that the more we look out for each other the better life is for everyone. The problem is that not everyone feels the need to be kind. Dog eat dog is a very popular thing especially in the business and dating world (I'm only slightly kidding about the dating thing). So having good judgment of human character is a great quality. I believe that being judgmental and being careful about the people you surround yourself with are two very different things.
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