Looking In...

it's been a ruff couple days for me. i wish that there was one thing to pin point and blame for it so i can just move on, you know. it's a lot of stuff, but somehow i think that it all comes back to me. i think it all just comes back to my way of thinking and feeling. so in the midst of my disgruntledness, i've been trying to get back to me, to find what is going to give the essence of me something to smile about.

sunday it was to just get out of the house. not anywhere specific, to go out without an actual plan. i feel like sometimes i torture myself with this idea that if there is no actual purpose to go out, i won't do it. so, i went out. i got out at what ever train station i felt the urge to and walked for a pleasing amount of time...until i saw a homeless man peeing into a bottle then i went home.

thursday it was to take a little extra time at 34th street, without complaining about the crowd. went to school in that area for about 5 years, and i haven't really been there. i took time to think about high school; i don't regret any of it.

yesterday it was to go to luch with a friend, and laugh really loud in an almost empty restaurant (not because it was bad, but because it was between meals technically). she was going through tough stuff too, so we just talked and ate really good indian food. after lunch i went to the other side of town, because i felt like it not because i had to. i got some really cute rain booties.

today i will finally go to a movie alone. i've been wanting to try to go alone for a while and today it just worked out. speaking of which it's time to go.

do something for you today.