Christmas Our Way

okay so here's the deal: i hate christmas. every year, after thanksgiving, (which incidentally, is my favorite holiday) i tell myself "this is is it. this is the year that i finally love christmas. this is the year that the magic happens and my heart and mind are forever changed to love this insipid holiday." and every year, it is the same. it is simply too much. i'm bombarded with echoes of bells, reindeer, snow, and the everlovin' mariah carey and her chorus of "all I want for christmas is yoooooouuuuuuoououououou!*high note* baby!" ugh... oh and let's not forget the ever patronizing "feliz navidad". i've never harbored such feelings of resentment toward a blind man. and then, i'm just back where i started. but this year was different, though not the kind of different that you would hope for.

this i year i decided that i would simply accept my feelings toward this time of year. i realized that the only reason that anytime that i wanted to change my feelings about this holiday it came from someone else telling me that i should. it was always someone else telling me that this was a wonderful thing and i should get in the spirit of it. and i felt guilty for not loving something that others love so much. but this year, i realized that in my life, i've never felt sorry for disliking things that others love. like: playing duck, duck, goose or chatting on aol or goosebumps or reading harry potter or twilight or playing sports or jell-o or star wars or ice cream with fruit in it... this list goes on and on. this year was a year of self acceptance. and it was wonderful.

this year, our family celebrated on the eve, as we always do. we went to my great-aunt's house. she's the best cook on my father's side of the family, so it was totally worth being there. but, do you know what the best part was? the best part was connecting to my past and present family by celebrating the way that dominicans do. 

after eating dinner, we danced. we put on really loud music and we danced to the rythms that past generations danced to. my great-aunt made jokes about her sister (whom we all love) and gave a great impression. my mother, between drum beats, told me about her father and reminded me how my grandpa danced before he got too religious. and i found so much happiness and caught a glimpse of the future and the past while dancing with my mami. we didn't leave my aunt's til three a.m. 

as i walked out of her building, full plate of food in hand, i said to mami "well, that's why none of the neighbors complain about the music, they all have their own music on!" she replied, "it's christmas! that's how we do it!"