Good News Minute...

i just need to share the things that i am excited about. i used to not be openly excited about things because i believed in jinxing. now not so much. most of the time i can accept that what i want isn't always what is right for me. so here is my list of exciting things that apparently are the right thing for me:

1) the last day of work: it has been a great experience to learn and grow around great people and the celebration afterward
2) locking the double bolt for the last time in a long while
3) seeing ohio, i don't know anything about the state but i'm excited to see it (i love seeing new places)
4) seeing boof
5) seeing friends in utah
6) seeing real snow (and playing in it)
7) seeing friends in idaho (including the newly married ones weird i have married friends).
8) the new year and celebrating (i don't know what exactly what i'm doing but i'm excited to celebrate)
9) my friend's mission call

so there i'm excited. so excited i could shout it from the mountain tops. not really.
but i'm excited. what are you excited about?

Smiles...

quick one...
i was sitting at the front desk (where i often wish i could answer the phone "dunder mifflin this is sam", it works perfectly) as one of my co-workers was leaving (it's still weird that i have co-workers) she was excited to get on with the rest of her evening, while i still had another hour left, she expected that i be excited for her departure. i was excited, not jumping for joy, but excited none the less, she didn't buy it. she then said that when ever she mentioned my going back to school i would know exaclty how many days it would be (i don't but 3 weeks does equal 21 days right?? no one is counting though). she says my whole face changes.
though i am extatic to go back to school i'm even more stoked to see Boof!!!

also, i've decided that i love taking trips and the money i save through the next year or less will be dedicaded to taking a trip to europe...even if i have to do it alone...so here's to penny pinching!!

Random Thoughts....

Okay what is the deal with soup…
At work there are several people that eat soup on a regular basis and any time I see someone eating it I think ‘’ what is the big flipppin’ deal?” its water with stuff floating in it.
I will confess that on a cold day I like to have a small bowl of soup but some hot chocolate would probably do the trick for me instead though knowing the little that I do about nutrition, I don’t think that would be the better option.
There are several eateries in the city, several big chains, that are devoted to soup, not solely but soup is the “main course” If you will and the fact that in this economic turn these places are still in business says something So riddle me this, what could all these people see in soup?

also...

have you ever looked at the sunset? i mean really looked? there's florecent pink there.

I Admit....

i'm addicted...they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. so i had this giant craving for oreos...i mean massive craving! so after a few days of trying to fight the urge because shockingly oreos are not the most nutritious food i gave in...big time...i've had at least two dozen in the last four days...it's terrible...but the worst part is that i don't even feel guilty about it. i don't normally like sweets.

so i encourage you to indulge...you deserve it...and even if you don't do it anyway life is too short to not have a treat when you want it. i admit i think i over did it a tad but eh...whatever.

on a more positive note...so i made a mistake at work. i skipped a step that is part of the normal procedure on friday. i think i gave myself an ulcer with how much i worried about this. i'm generally not a perfectionist but when i'm doing things for other people i like to do things right and when i mess up it is torture. but this weekend it was ridiculous. so i get to work today and promptly report to state my error expecting the worst and lo and behold...it was fine! fine! fine!

imagine that, the world didn't end.

so if you are worried about something, think about this are you going to look back on it and think..."dang i wasted a load of time worried about this." if so go do something else, occupy your mind with something else trust me whatever happens...the world is not going to end...you don't have that kind of control.

I Got Tagged

ironically enough this is the fourth picture in my folder. ironic because C. was the one to tag me. the explanation of the photo you ask. well this is C. sitting in a massage contraption on her birthday at my apt in idaho at her almost "surprise" party. she's too smart to be surprised!

it was way fun and later we went bowling. good times.

well if you are reading this you are tagged. acknowledge, accept, and act! (that means you need to post the fourth picture in the fourth folder and explain it). happy posting!

It's all About the Clothes

so we have established that i love movies. so a recent love is selena. there are several reasons why i like the movie so here goes:
1) the clothes that are the epitome of 1990's fashion and celebrate women's curves
2) the fade in shots...oh so many and so professionally done
3) the celebration of latin culture (even though the girl did not really speak spanish all that well) i think it was one of the first spanish language movies that i ever really liked
4) the "true love" story of an initially forbidden love
5) the celebration of honest to goodness hard work and the success that it brings especially when following one's dreams
6) oh my gosh the hair
7) the matte red lipstick and acrylic nails
8) it's j.lo doing what she does best....pretending to be a singer/musician and fashion designer (maybe that's why this is her best acting work)


so even though it ends in a terrible tragedy it celebrates the life of a young successful hispanic woman and the many trials that she faces. i'm a sucker for success stories. so there.

For The Love of a Film

so i really do love this movie. but have you ever really liked something and then started to think of that thing in more detail? so....drum roll please....why do i love "pretty woman" let me count the ways.

1) it's a love story...duh

2)the scene where she goes back to the rude lady at the boutique on rodeo dr.

3)the clothes...clearly this is me

4)julia roberts big red hair and richard gere's silver

5)the completion of her fairy tale at the end

6)the red dress and necklace scene(see picture)

now that being said. dude what do they do after get together? do they get married? have children? more importantly how the crap do they tell they're love story? "i met her on hollywood blvd" "she was a hooker when i first met her" or "i was her final client". the evil part of me (which is most of me) giggles at what they might tell they're hypothetical children.

i love pointless hollywood movies the exihibit the fashion industry.

To My Suprise

the people of new york never give up. every where you go, there is someone who has to get there before you. most people are in such a hurry that they don't even realize what they are doing. case in point: there is a certain intersection where on one corner is the post office and a train station, one corner is a historical site (ny's oldest public building a church in fact) and on another the world trade center construction site. day in and day out construction workers direct traffic there. it's not about the cars but about the morons that decide to cross the street when a semi is four feet away! this is amazing to me, how could so many people make the same stupid choice at the same time? you'd think the planets had to align. how could people that make so many smart career choices make just as many stupid life choices? which brings me to my next point...work.
everyday hundreds, thousands, millions of people go into there office jobs and do their office duty. it dawned on me today that people really go to work everyday and ....(shockingly)...WORK! i know it sounds dumb but i feel like its one of those things you don't think about until it happens to you.
next blog point(smooth intro eh?)
the amazingness that is the book Standing for Something by Gordon B. Hinkley. this book is amazing and though it is taking me forever to read it, i love it.
he talks about changes that everyone should make about society and what it can become if we don't change the patterns that we fall into and realize what is going on around us.
i highly recommend it. i usually hate reading but i love reading this book.
more on my learning later on.

Sigh

so in retrospect my life is really good right now. i mean really good for what it has been in the past though as usual there is a need and a desire for self improvement. sigh.
who would have thought that with age came responsibility and consciousness? sigh.
so there. as a result of my human condition i want more than what i can have as of right now. i want more out of this life than i can even wrap my brain around. i want a degree of happiness that i know i cannot even fathom. i want so much that when i think about it my heart beats a little faster and i can't breathe as well as i should. sigh.
this is my biggest struggle as of now. digesting current happiness while constantly thinking of great joy. what's your greatest struggle?

Realization

i sat on the subway car on my way home from the new job (yes a job a real one. working in an office. but thats besides the point) i pondered my existence and i realized something amazing. my life could turn out to be awesome!
think of it. i could get to the end of this journey and say "dang that was amazing!"
how simple a thought but again easier said than done as most things that are worth doing are.
so that is my thought for the next few days...this life could be awesome and totally worth the dificult things that we all have to go through. just think all in all it would be worth it and it would be amazing!

Adventures at Home

went to girls camp 08' . got the shirt. decided that society as a whole is on a doward never ending slippery slope. also, knockin' the g's off of words and addin' apostraphies makes them gan'sta'. though not in all cases.
went to the zoo. all i got was a stinkin' mug. its rad though for mommy dearest (the plan is to become and stay her perfect child for time and all eternity). i admired the beauty of the exotic animals and wondered if they had been blessed like humans with a sense of awareness.
other than that i've kind of just been soaking in the city and making life altering decissions. for instnce i don't want to live in the city my whole life.
other than that no other interesting thoughts to blog about.
so there.

Ponderings

i sit here wondering "what the heck is wrong with me?" i had a sort of argument with my mother and older brother about my realtionship with said brother. it has NEVER been a good one. he thinks about himself before anyone and everyone else. and he says that it is human nature. that this world is about surviaval of the fitist and it is most important that he survive before anyone else. but my young mind asks what are we fighting each other to survive? what is it that my brother who does nothing all day is trying to survive?
the other thing that bothered me about our argument was that my brother called me rude and judgemental. which are two of the things about my personality that i really don't like. they are some of the worse things about myself but they surface when i put my guard up(which automatically happens in ny). i guess it just stings when one of the people i judge the most calls me out on it.
i'm working on my flaws but there are too many to work on at once and it doesnt help to have them tossed in my face. more than once.
so there. i'm judgemental and rude. all the time. its not okay but i'll work on it. i promise myself i would.

Just For Kicks and giggles!

Let's Share a memory!

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. I will revisit your blog and leave a memory as well!!

The Unsung Heros of Public Events

yesterday was amazing and i wish i had a picture to display but the organizers were kind of picky about picture taking. but guess who i got to see perform at the conference center with mo tab........the osmonds!!! yes it was amazing. ther was an orchestra, several conductors and a couple jazz instrument players. so much mormon musical talent in one giant room it could have exploded. i enjoyed the slide shows of pictures from decades that i don't have the mental capacity to fully imagine on my own, the songs of loves past and the wardrobe....oh how i love clothes.

but as i sat there i was slightly (by slightly i mean massively) distracted by the camera men and the little details.

there were several slide shows and graphic displays for the massive screens and i wondered whose job was it to put those together for the free yes i said free event? who picked marie's dresses? who made those dresses? who did the choreography?but even further on the small details performed by people whose names weren't in the program....there was a guy holding a camera that walked across the stage several times to get the great shots for the big screens...but even better...a guy hunched over or on his knees for an hour and a half winding and unwinding the cord for this hand held camera! that was amazing to me partially b/c i'm having a tough time bending over for reasons that will be presented in a later post but partially b/c the show was free! his name wasn't on the program, there aren't any credits (like for movies) where his family can pick out his name next to some random label like "cord holder" or "crawling guy with the cord"or "assistant camera man" . it isn't fair. lets put his name on the big screen with funkadelic colors! or even better lets give him a show or write him a song!

I'm a quiter, so sue me!

this is the only time that i will allow my self to quit. i was planning to stay in the busling metropolis that is rexburg until my flight on friday but after day one of realizing what it would really be like i gavve up and got out. i've never packed so fast in my entire life especially not for this long of a time. i called S and got my ride arranged for the shuttle and three hours latter was thanking Funkadelic for the ride. i'm glad i got out. 7 months in nowheresville is bad enough when there are people there, can you imagine it with no one around but the grounds crews and the freshmen academy????

Guns don't kill people...

so over the 4th of july i was introduced to the wonder that is a gun. now i'm definately a city girl and will be my whole life but as it turns out...i like guns...i don't want to kill anything... ever... but i like shooting. so there. now to the point of the post.
yesterday my bishop took me and a few friends out to what he called "the family dry farm". now what a dry farm is i haven't the slightest idea, but there were open fields and a canyon...yes a canyon, but most importantly barrettas.
so i shoot a few rounds got comfortable, shot a few more and then my arms got sore. i still want to play but it is getting slightly more difficult to hold up a gun but i do it anyways. with the gun loaded(though pointing away from everyone) i get tired and lower it to my waist, my finger slips and lands firmly on the trigger and yes you guessed it the gun goes off. the first thing the bishop says is "that's how people get killed." way to comfort there bishop.
well, my friend T told me i should just shoot again so that i wouldn't be so scared of the gun itself. so i shot. several times. and later on determined that i would much rather shoot a 22 than a bigger gun.
moral of the story: guns don't kill people, stupid people with guns kill people. (does not apply to all cases just most).

Got mangu?

what is it about human nature that makes us want what we can't have?

i thought about it this morning as i prepared my "interesting" breakfast, pasta with veggies after my morning "jog".it makes perfect sense. don't judge me. as i stirred my shells i thought of what i would rather be eating, dominican food, mangu specifically. mangu is the amazingness that happens when you take green plantains(if you don't know what those are google it) boil them and mash them with butter, and onions sauteed in butter or oil. it is amazing (photo included). i have an interesting relationship with food. i love it and it loves my thighs. but really i love food more than your average person. i love the smells, colors, combinations, and of course the taste of it all. i'll try anything once, if it smells good. and since i have left home my obsession has only increased. i want to experiment and try different food from all over the world. but this post isn't about food. (focus sam!) although that does bring me back to my point, we want things that we can not have, whether we are talking immediately or for the rest of our lives. let me explain.

i want to travel the world and eat in every continent once or twice(do you see where my focus is). i would love to do it now but i can't. i don't have the money or the time or any of the other means. but i know that if i keep that in mind i will one day be able to do it. i'm not going to wait to be rich to do it either. so i can have that. eventually.

but this is where it gets difficult. there are things that i want that i will never be able to have and things that would take lots of work and effort to attain.

we'll start with the first. i will never be able to have longer legs. i'm a whopping 5'6". i'm the shortest in my family. i would enjoy being a little taller but i'm done. i had my growth spurt at 14 i think and haven't grown much since then. why do i want that? i know my life wouldn't really be different but i think it would be nice. nice. there is no rhyme or reason just the thought that it could be nice.

the things that would be difficult.

i want to run. fast. often. it's hard. 'nough said.

so there. i want what i can't have. and maybe that's what can keep me going and keep me motivated and keep me trying.

p.s. i've included a picture of the deliciousness that is mangu and a shirt that i would love to own.

The Walk-in

so i've kind of made it a habit of talking on my phone on the porch. i don't know why i like it but i do, whether it is day or night i would much rather be outside talking and im not even an outdoors person im a city girl. anyways, back to the point. im out side its dark and the rexburg heat is finally dying down and the wind was amazing. after talking for a while i decided i better get back inside if i wanted to get something productive done. as i stood up from the steps i remembered that my roommate had been inside with her bf. i looked at my apt door it was closed and the lights were off so i figured eh no one is home, so i went to chat it up with the neighbors. productive right?
after cutting fish out of aluminum (don't ask) the productivity just keeps coming, and talking for a while i decided it was a good time to head inside, my own house this time and then the thought popped into my head, i didn't see my roommate or her bf come out. i told my friend V. she offered to walk in first assuring me that they knew better with them being older, and here longer, having experienced the honor code longer, she was confident in them. she opened the door and sure enough there they were and the thickness of an awkward feeling come over the apt. now they weren't doing anything really inappropriate but it wasn't the best experience i have ever had.
V and i moved to my room to gag in private.
so there. i walked in on my roommate and her bf. in the dark. probably sucking face.
in reality it wasn't that bad but it was awkward.
i haven't said more than two words to her since. not on purpose. i just have nothing to say. the awkwardness lingers.
i figure there is only one week of school left i can live through this. i've been through worse.

Discoveries

so before i rip into the wonder that is rexburg i have to say that deep down i really do love it here. i love school and the friends that i've gained and the knowledge that i have gained that i couldn't have gotten any other way than through leaving the saftey of my mom's house (in nyc now if that isnt an oxymoron). i'll say it once more i love it here.
that being said, what is the deal with the flippin' bubble these people live in?
now maybe it is that i grew up in one of the most diverse places in the world or that i am in fact a minority but the behavior that i've experienced is ridiculous.
i understand that i look like i'm african american and when i'm confused for that i'm not offended but when i tell people that i'm dominican and they try to argue that the frustration builds and the plot thickens. in my time here i've been wondered at, questioned and petted yes petted, like a dog.
so, yea i'm different. i've always been different but never like this. i've never gotten stared at for being a different "color" than everyone else. i've never answered questions like "why are you so black?" or "do you get darker in the summer?" or "why do you have black people hair?"
when i talk to my mom about it she asks why i don't just come home. and sometimes i wonder the same thing and then it comes to me. the stupid questions i have to answer don't even compare with the fun that i've had and the love i have felt. so if the price to pay for some happiness is a stupid quetion every now and then i'll gladly pay the toll.

The New Addition

So, I finally decided to start my blog!! Inspired initially by my friend ElizaBethany Benson, she is amazing. Well, for my introductory blog I think I will start with my first winter away from home.
I came to the exotic paradise that is Rexburg, Idaho about six months ago. Who'd thought that this Big City dweller would end up here. It just goes to show you that the best things in life aren't always the things you plan or even the things you initially want.