Christmas

i wish i could blog about the "real meaning of christmas" as some of my fellow christians like to call it but, alas, christ was born in april.

however, this year, like the last, i spent it with some of my favorite people. they are fellow chocolate fiends, needles to say it was a great evening. filled with serious as well as light hearted conversation.

they have a young daughter who is about 2 years old. this year they have gone to great lengths for the whole "santa scheme". they set presents under the tree after she went to bed. they placed a thank you note (for cookies and milk) on top of a plate of cookie crumbs. they even left a glass with "milk residue". it was adorable.

while we set up her "bigger" presents (which included a tricycle and make shift kitchen, both cuter than any that i have ever seen) i had a moment.

in my family christmas wasn't a really big deal, for a lot of reasons. but, i never really knew what i was missing until today. though, the idea of this hoax at 20 years of age is a little silly, part of me thinks that it might have been nice to have something a little magical and inexplicable to believe in. so, in this magical moment, influenced by the spirit of christmas, i decided to add something to "the list of things that i may want in a future husband". i think it might be nice, for me and my future children (emphasis on future...distant future) to have someone who is captivated by christmas. there is a sort of magic that comes with it all and i think i would like to have that in my home. there is something to be said about the excitement it brings to parents to have a "good secret" to keep from their children. even these two most practical parents, had a twinkle in their eyes about the presents they set out for their lovely little girl. i don't have it, so i guess he will have to bring it.

i hope your day (no matter what day it is) is filled with magic, love, and light.

merry christmas.
s

Sigh...

i finally finished them. i made roman shades for this very nice interior designer lady. (there should be some sort of link there but i don't know that she has a website.)
it was really difficult for me for several reasons. first, i sew clothes. well, not really anymore, but that's what i learned to sew. these were ROMAN SHADES people. second, i don't really love sewing. i've always liked it but i don't love it. third, it was a process that magnified some of my greatest flaws.

i stressed so much on being so perfect about the whole thing. i tried to get every stitch just right. every time i looked at the fabric something cringed with the thought of time consuming attempts at perfection. this is why i stopped sewing things that had set deadlines. it all together, pulls me apart.

but now its all over. and i can breath. and get back to over thinking and stressing out about other stuff. i should have taken pictures, (i'm kind of a bonehead) hopefully she will email me some like she said she would.

oh and p.s. i'm going to chicago tomorrow (so excited!!) and i'm not even close to being packed, so far in fact that i haven't even pulled down my suitcase.

Help?

okay, so no real life update or anything. i've just got a little dilemma. i think i'm ready to get a new computer. this one has served me well. we've been through some tough times: i've done some cool research, and written some awesome essays and papers, but alas, old jefferson here is falling apart. it is time for a new one.

the problem is, i don't know anything about computers. (what 20 year old doesn't know computers? whatever, i don't tweet either. so there, i'm old and un-hip, who cares?) although, as usual i know what i don't want. i don't want another dell. sorry dell users nothing personal or really substantial. i simply don't want one. i also don't want a mac, i just don't care for them. i'm a pc. i also kind of feel like pop culture really worships mac and soon our ipods are going to turn on us and enlist our computers in their fight against the human race.

so, help me out if you can.

stay rad.

Looking In...

it's been a ruff couple days for me. i wish that there was one thing to pin point and blame for it so i can just move on, you know. it's a lot of stuff, but somehow i think that it all comes back to me. i think it all just comes back to my way of thinking and feeling. so in the midst of my disgruntledness, i've been trying to get back to me, to find what is going to give the essence of me something to smile about.

sunday it was to just get out of the house. not anywhere specific, to go out without an actual plan. i feel like sometimes i torture myself with this idea that if there is no actual purpose to go out, i won't do it. so, i went out. i got out at what ever train station i felt the urge to and walked for a pleasing amount of time...until i saw a homeless man peeing into a bottle then i went home.

thursday it was to take a little extra time at 34th street, without complaining about the crowd. went to school in that area for about 5 years, and i haven't really been there. i took time to think about high school; i don't regret any of it.

yesterday it was to go to luch with a friend, and laugh really loud in an almost empty restaurant (not because it was bad, but because it was between meals technically). she was going through tough stuff too, so we just talked and ate really good indian food. after lunch i went to the other side of town, because i felt like it not because i had to. i got some really cute rain booties.

today i will finally go to a movie alone. i've been wanting to try to go alone for a while and today it just worked out. speaking of which it's time to go.

do something for you today.

How Can I Put This Lightly...

i'm really ticked. i wish that i could really write it all out but i'm not at that stage of the anger yet. so, i need help. how do you get "unangry"? what is your best tip for me?

hope you had a better day.

I Have an Announcement....

Let it be know that I Samantha, have taken and PASSED the test to receive a New York State Lerner's Permit. I will receive said permit in about ten days.

thank you.

P.S. I was under the impression that the DMV would be hellacious. Not so. Thank you Bronx DMV for making this processes a snap.

In the Works

so there's been a lot going on...well not all that much. but, i have decided to start some new craft projects. a skirt fashioned from an old pair of jeans, chairs to be reappolstered, maybe a t-shirt or two, and a new blog http://thestoryofmymothers.blogspot.com/, all works in progress but i will have pictures soon.

happy trails.