The Here and Now

life is pretty good. i love my classes. the combination of accounting, english, and humanities is in fact my cup of tea. i work with career and internship services 2-3 times a week teaching workshops. i volunteer with the student representative council. and i'm the second counselor in the relief society presidency. i'm a busy girl and i love it.

of all the things that i have to do, that last one freaks me out the most. the idea that people are going to pay attention to the things that i do and say puts a bit of pressure on me, 'cause you know, i say stuff [insert shifty eyes].

so yeah, things are going pretty well. this week i got a glimpse.

the future:

i feel like this might be a glimpse into my future with my mother. you should watch it cause i love it and i love it.

A List of Sorts

now that the school year has started up for me, i have started making lists again. i love making lists; they keep my life organized and productive. so, here is a list of things that i want.

1. satisfaction. i want to be satisfied no matter where or when i am. i want to enjoy the journey everyday. is that even realistic?
2. patience. i have finally come to the realization that i will always be lacking in the patience department. whether it is patience with myself and my journey or with others, the results are the same; i always come up short. i'm working on it though.
3. knowledge. i read this article this week that talked about how learning is a process and how an educated person is one who is continually learning. that is the kind of person that i want to be.
4. connection. recently i've been feeling this barrier between myself and other people. it is a familiar feeling for me; i spent a lot of my time as a teenager trying my best not to connect with people out of fear. but now, i don't know what it is, but i don't feel connected to others.

okay, that's what's on my mind these days; self interest, it happens.

Life Stuffs

happy new year. i feel like i should write some sort of re-cap of my year post, but that would take a while. i don't really want to do it and i figure since i'm in college and i'm an adult i will simply do what i want.

i'm really excited about this year. i really like the way twenty-eleven sounds. i'm really excited about the things that i will be doing within the next few months. i would like to share all the things that i'm excited about, but i'm a little superstitious about the things that i get excited about in that i don't want to jinx anything. so be excited for me and enjoy these picture of my thanksgiving in nuevo mexico.

i loved new mexico. i went with my friend cami and stayed with her family. they were just amazing. they are truly some of the nicest people i have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

this is cami and i watching our lives flash before our eyes as tay-tay (her brother) was getting ready to drive. there really was no reason to be afraid; that kid is a great driver.

these are some of the cows from the dairy. thank you cows for helping to make the best chocolate milk ever.


cami and i had a photoshoot. i only hated it a little. plus, this picture is just cool.

well, as soon as things settle down, i'll start this up again.

A Day of Birth

sunday was my birthday and it was EPIC. yes, epic because the definition of epic is: "heroic; majestic; impressively great", and that it was my friends, that it was.

i woke up early that day to find the following in our living room:

yes, that is an allusion to the office episode when dwight and jim are at the head of the party planning committee.

those are balloons with special messages about my day of birth.

these are my friends. they are surrounding two dinner tables. the two tables were put together to house the feast that was held in my honor. there was so much food and drink. i was in fact very very merry. check it:

side note: what is up with my neck?and this, this is me and p.willy. my mouth is full of steak.

it was a wonderful day, full of much merry making. i love my friends; they are epic, in the heroic sense of the word. they are good people and they made my 21st a very special day.

Look What I Can Do

so i started the process about three weeks ago. yes dear friends i made a slipcover, for a large couch, almost entirely from scratch. i used a pattern for the pillows(the blue ones) and the rest(you know the big part that covers the beast) i draped and pinned on the couch, took it home and sewed my brains out. it was hard.

that's the bottom half of my parental unit numero uno in the background.

it was a difficult process, but i really am proud that i finished and that it looks good and that the patron loves it. she wrote me a nice check and tipped me with homemade vermont apple pie. best.pie.ever.

although sewing is not one of my favorite things to do, it is one of those things that i'm glad i know how to do because it is a skill and it is useful. i'm glad that i know how to do it because it helps pay for school and for really nice shoes*. it is one of those things that i wish i really loved and that in the image of the person that i want to be i do love it. i'm not there yet. so, i'm in like with sewing but i am in love with this "shabby chic" couch.

*more on the sabbath day turned bonding day in a later post.

Location Location Location

when i was in idaho, that magical mystical alternate universe, i often found myself asking "where am i?". not necessarily in the literal sense; i knew i was in idaho, the state that neighbors utah and wyoming (among others) but in a more socially conscience way. i wondered how i got to this place. how did i end up in idaho of all places. idaho which previous to my attending byu-i, i could not point out on a map.

this question of location helps me to know what direction i am headed in so that i might change my course or continue moving forward. as i sit on the warm wool rug that my mom and i bought from a quasi garage sale after church one sunday, i wonder "where the heck am i?".

it turns out, that i don't really know know. but i might have some foggy idea. i'm somewhere between knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt and having absolutely no idea. between feeling every bit of blame and complete disconnect. between absolute fear and great courage. between indifference and total devotion. i'm somewhere in between and i hate it.

i hate it because i identify myself as a planner and i have nothing to plan, because i need to know so that i am secure, because i feel the need to make a choice and yet i feel that i cannot, and because it really all depends on me and i haven't got a single clue.

so yeah, i might come undone. but in the end i know know that it will be okay, because really "can you imagine it not working out?"

and now pictures i like:

these are from my trip to chicago last fall.
i went to visit a a friend for my birthday. it was the best birthday so far. we had indian food and rented movies and had my favorite ice cream. super fun.

skyline=awesome.

p.s. this picture was taken out of the window of a lady's room in some super fancy restaurant that i thought smelled like a cafeteria.

gorgeous park. foliage is my favorite. i love the fall.

picasso. i tried to look up the title of the piece but it is nameless. who needs labels anyways

the bean. it really is cooler than this picture.

me touching the cool bean. this event was followed by the use of hand sanitizer as swine flu was running ramped in the u.s. also, my hair did really well in chicago; i could live there.

so i'm a late blogger. what's it to ya?

Word to the Wise

so, i'm someone that loves food. really. i. love. food. but, yesterday i decided that i would get on a 4 and a half hour flight sans food. you see the last time i ate, pre-flight, was lunch at about 1-ish. i got on my first flight at 6:45, landed and walked in long beach california and immediately boarded the non-stop to jfk.

my poor nutrition choice has had some pretty sweet consequences. these include dehydration and abdominal soreness; like the kind you get when you workout really hard and it hurts to laugh or cough. yeah. awesome. lesson learned.

also, a great(by great i just mean long, not really exceptional in anyway) reflective post to follow-will include pictures.