The World's Smallest Violin

remember when you were a kid and you had your tiny heart broken about something and you told your friends and all they said was "oh look i have the world's smallest violin and it's playing a sad sad song for you." no? that didn't happen to you? well it did to me. and while it was irritating then, it did (and does) help me put things in perspective.

i don't think of my self as a "positive person" or even one that you could call "happy" in the traditional sense, but i do believe that life is inherently good. but if you spend all of your time thinking about what you are not, or what you don't have, or what could have been, then you are going to miss it all. you are going to miss all the really good juicy-laugh-your-head-off-love-every-minute-of-it stuff. and more importantly, you are going to miss the point of this wonderful journey.

yes, i know that life just sucks sometimes. trust me, i'll save you the sob stories, but know that i know that it just sucks some days. but here's the deal, without the bad you can't know how really flippin' good the good truly is. so, put the tiny violin away, shred the sad sad song, and find a way to find happiness in today's part of the journey.

peace, love, and happiness. in the mean time...daisies. 

Could you please explain why...

people post half naked pictures of themselves on facebook? or on any free website for that matter. i figure if you are going to have nearly nude pictures of yourself, you might as well try and get paid for it instead of giving it all away. (fyi, i don't condone people taking these kinds of picture, it's demeaning.)

people love anthropology so much? it's not that great a store and it's expensive so what gives?

people go to church and other church like things and spend their time rubbing each others' backs or whispering to one another? i know you are not paying attention while that is going on! you might as well stay home 'cause you know what? people can see you and they think it's awkward. trust me.

Quotables

so the other day i was in my accounting information systems class (we build databases) and my teacher was introducing the case on which our project is based. the fictional company is a honey production company. as it turns out, my teacher knows more about beehives and harvesting honey than the producers of the secret life of bees. quotes of note, you ask, well of course.

when speaking of when kids put out sugar water for bees, bees tell the other bees "whoa, check it out, free sugar water!"

when discussing the smoking of the beehive before the harvest:
"it's like when someone asks you 'if your house was on fire what would you take with you?' and there's always that person that's like 'my scriptures!' and i'm like 'no, if my house was on fire i would take my i-pad, i can buy another set of scriptures and it has scriptures on it!' "

"...the bees think their tree is on fire so they go protect the one thing that they have...honey. so they go drink themselves into oblivion."

on protecting the honey:

"it's like mormons and their food storage, they've got their guns and they're like: 'i'm a christian, no one's getting my food storage!'"

on bees in general:

"who does all the work?...no it's the females. do you know what the male bees are called?...drones. they don't do jack...all they do is fertilize the queen, and that's where 'the birds and bees' comes from, but that is not what we are here to talk about."

i like this class. oh,  and don't worry he totally drew a picture of the hive, a colorful flower, the thing that spins the honey out, and the hot knife.

a good time was had by all.

last thing:
as i was writing this post, i was listening to pandora. a song i liked came on and because i refuse to be one of those people that uses song lyrics in their facebook status on principle, i'm going to put it here. also, remeber whose blog you're reading; i like this because it's funny, not because it has any relationship to romance. the lyrics: "when you love someone and you bite your tongue all you get is a mouthful of blood".

on that note, go out and love your fellow man, so as not to fill your mouth with blood.

Literacy Level 1

so here's the deal: i went to fashion high school. which means that while everyone else with whom i would end up in college was taking chemistry and english lit, i was learning how to draft patterns and drape garments. don't get me wrong, i got a quality education, but i missed out on some of the good stuff like quality reading.

this semester's course load seems to be permissive to some leisurely reading. so, my question to you faithful readers, is which of the classics should i get my little hands on and read? which is your favorite?

Searching

i found this image on the internet. it says peace. i think its beautiful and i love it. i love it because it represents all that i am searching for: the blue is clam. the white is pure. the lines look effortless; almost accidentally graceful. and yet,  i know that to make something like this it takes practice, time, determination, love of the thing that you are doing, and love for that thing you are trying to accomplish, and in all this work one must have peace. peace in trial. peace in work. and most importantly, peace in failure. peace in knowing that what you have accomplished, though it was not exactly what you wanted, means that you are closer to your goal. so maybe, just maybe, failure isn't exactly something negative, not something to be feared. not something to be ashamed of. maybe failure is just a stepping stone, required on the path though uncertain and sometimes unsightly.

Changes

 context

list of things that have changed....
pictures....
a story of change...

list
address (don't worry still in rexburg)
calling (home-evening coordinator)
ward
over generalization of hipsters
jeans (skinny, don't judge, i'm young and they are cool. practically made for each other.)
hair
nails (they be gold and glittery y'all)

pictures- you know, to keep you interested

apple picking in the fall

reason #3,009 to love chicago, sand castles in the city

reason #4,078

reason # 3,890,non-denominational place of worship beautiful architecture

reason #2,899 giant MM

reason # 590 glass box sears tower

#4,078

before

dramatic-emo-before

dramatic-emo after, navuoo in the background

glare in the glasses, after, rexburg in the background 

story
i started school in idaho in January of 2008. i enrolled as a business management major. in 2010 i realized that i didn't want to be a business major anymore.i began praying about it and trying to figure out what to do and what i should major in. that summer, i was in my first accounting class.

it was difficult work. i had to read and study and practice more than i ever had before. that semester i learned a great deal about learning. i passed the class...barely, but i knew that this was the subject i should study for the rest of my college career. so began the major change process.

after much frustration with offices, student employees, and other bureaucratic nonsense, i was a mess. i couldn't do it. i couldn't come to terms with how much schooling i had left. i couldn't deal. and at the end of the day, i was scared. scared of what it would mean if i couldn't change my major and what it could mean if i did. scared of what i would be required to do. so i put it off...as long as i could.

this christmas break it all came to a head, and a choice had to be made. i was reminded of the wonderful year that i'd had. i remembered all the wonderful experiences (many to be found on this blog) that happened because i decide to "let go and let God" and jump in. so i did. and after practicing that wonderful skill, you know, jumping through hoops, i got it changed. I am scheduled to graduate in December 2012 with a Bachelors of Science in Accounting and a minor*  in Humanities.

i could not be more excited. i'm currently enrolled in four (yeah, that's right, 4) accounting classes. they are challenging,exciting, and life altering for me. the reason they are so exciting though, is that i am learning skills that i will be using in my professional life. speaking of, you wanna know what i want to do?

i dream of working with an organization that offers hope to inner city youth. an organization that teaches youth that there is a big world outside of the difficult world around them. and organization that teaches them the skill of hoping. so, if you know of an organization like this that needs an intern, an accounting intern this spring would you please let me know? thanks.

sincerely,
your humble bean counter

Things I'd Like to Try

*please note that the following is a self-indulgent list which you neither have to acknowledge nor  comment on. 


tribal! i want every and anything tribal "give it to me now!"



i'd like try eye-makeup. eyes wear glasses (please tell me you got that?) so normally i only wear mascara, i think i will try this...


swirly, twirly nails! don't they just look awesome!



high heels...correction HIGH heels.


the end.