Just putting it out there...

here is something that i've learned and yet continue to re-learn almost every day. are you ready for this? it's kind of a big deal. ready?

LIFE IS FLIPPPIN' HARD!!!!!
no matter where you are and what you are doing it is going to be, for that moment, the hardest thing that you've ever been through. and as we all get older things just get more and more complicated. that is just the way it is. and like the 12 step plan, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.so the purpose of this post is mainly to remind myself that life isn't a cake walk for anyone. it may be easier for some in comparison to others, but overall, people struggle. those who look like they have got it together simply look that way because either they know something we don't or they have got the attitude to deal with what they've got with grace. we should all be so lucky. sometimes we are. sometimes we can bring it together and make it something good. sometimes we can laugh it off while it's happening. for me this isn't one of those times.so, i've decided that for today, i will allow my self some time. today, i will let it all out. today i will be a flamin' hot mess and that will be okay because when it is all gone, tomorrow will be a better day. and the hard stuff will have been worth living.

Dirty Little Secret...

okay, so i have all these secret little fantasies about life experiences that i want to have. one of them was to work in an office. i'm not a super organized person but i do enjoy lists and doing things in order, so, i guess i have the potential to be a "neat freak" but i don't like those kind of labels though they do have a nice ring to them don't they??
anyways, another little fantasy is to be a waitress. i don't know why i think it would be so interesting but growing up in a big city i wanted to experience a small diner and have "regulars" and know exactly what they want every time they came in. maybe i've watched too many movies like "it could happen to you". but i think it could be really cool.

so what's your little fantasy?

My Grievances

okay so i'm back at school like i wanted but as usual things are not going as planned.
this is something that i am trying so desperately to work on. i plan everything out to the t and then things never go the way i plan. NEVER! but i continue to plan. i've had a few years with the use of reason but i still can't handle the fact that i've got to let things flow. the thing is that life always works out a thousand times better than anything that i could ever plan, all the more reason for me to stop planning things out so much.
i need help.
that's all for now.
sam

I'm So Excited

so i arrived yesterday morning in columbus. today we went to kirtland. it was an interesting experience to visit a place where so many others have been and lived and examine their work and customs and contributions to history.
on the 3hrs drive back "home" i was thinking about where i was and what i had the opportunity to do yesterday, today, and tomorrow. as usual i was surprised that i was doing something that wasn't really in my plans for a long time but was something that i really wanted to do. i feel somewhat fulfilled and pleased with myself for taking a small chance and doing something that i wanted for myself. it's nothing big but it's pleasing and i just wanted to share my small joy and step into the dredded adulthood, because, i just want to take it slow, i don't want to reach adulthood and be shocked by it and have to change all at once. i want to do it slow and steady.

Good News Minute...

i just need to share the things that i am excited about. i used to not be openly excited about things because i believed in jinxing. now not so much. most of the time i can accept that what i want isn't always what is right for me. so here is my list of exciting things that apparently are the right thing for me:

1) the last day of work: it has been a great experience to learn and grow around great people and the celebration afterward
2) locking the double bolt for the last time in a long while
3) seeing ohio, i don't know anything about the state but i'm excited to see it (i love seeing new places)
4) seeing boof
5) seeing friends in utah
6) seeing real snow (and playing in it)
7) seeing friends in idaho (including the newly married ones weird i have married friends).
8) the new year and celebrating (i don't know what exactly what i'm doing but i'm excited to celebrate)
9) my friend's mission call

so there i'm excited. so excited i could shout it from the mountain tops. not really.
but i'm excited. what are you excited about?

Smiles...

quick one...
i was sitting at the front desk (where i often wish i could answer the phone "dunder mifflin this is sam", it works perfectly) as one of my co-workers was leaving (it's still weird that i have co-workers) she was excited to get on with the rest of her evening, while i still had another hour left, she expected that i be excited for her departure. i was excited, not jumping for joy, but excited none the less, she didn't buy it. she then said that when ever she mentioned my going back to school i would know exaclty how many days it would be (i don't but 3 weeks does equal 21 days right?? no one is counting though). she says my whole face changes.
though i am extatic to go back to school i'm even more stoked to see Boof!!!

also, i've decided that i love taking trips and the money i save through the next year or less will be dedicaded to taking a trip to europe...even if i have to do it alone...so here's to penny pinching!!

Random Thoughts....

Okay what is the deal with soup…
At work there are several people that eat soup on a regular basis and any time I see someone eating it I think ‘’ what is the big flipppin’ deal?” its water with stuff floating in it.
I will confess that on a cold day I like to have a small bowl of soup but some hot chocolate would probably do the trick for me instead though knowing the little that I do about nutrition, I don’t think that would be the better option.
There are several eateries in the city, several big chains, that are devoted to soup, not solely but soup is the “main course” If you will and the fact that in this economic turn these places are still in business says something So riddle me this, what could all these people see in soup?

also...

have you ever looked at the sunset? i mean really looked? there's florecent pink there.